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Sunday, February 24th, 2008

It's Been A Long Time

I know I haven't updated in a long time, think of it as a caterpillar going through its transformation. I have been in my cocoon, changing, becoming, recovering. I'm not "there" yet but I have emerged, I am sitting in the sun drying my wings. Waiting for the right time to lift off and fly.

I have been in recovery, off my own back, for about 6 months now. I have gained some and am now up to roughly 112 lbs. I have only been weighing myself once a month and am eating every day - what a novelty huh?? I decided it was the right time, I know it is the right time for me to be going through this. It's hard, so so hard. I struggle every day to get through and keep up with this but I'm still here and still doing it 6 months on. I see the light at the end of the tunnel that I really could lead a "normal" (whatever that is!) life. I have a job, I work hard and love it. I work in a petshop where my boss is my (IRL) best friend. I work with her two sons (one of which I am head over heels with!) and get to work with animals all day. It's very theraputic.

I hope I can make it, make it when I know so many have failed or not even had the chance. I know I can be free of this. I am changed, I am a new person. I have a new life ahead of me. I just need to work. I feel happy, I don't mind my lumps and bumps so much. I get complimented more, guys notice me (and my now giant bewbs!). I feel like a woman.

I hope you guys are all well. This week would have been Jello's (industrikitty) birthday. I dedicate this entry to her and to how much I still miss her, how much I still feel the pain of losing her just as so many others do.

<3 R.I.P. Misty <3
I Love You
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